Why Relationships?

If you are happy by your own nature, your relationships will become a means to 'express' your happiness, not a means to 'seek' happiness. If you form relationships to seek happiness all you are doing is trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody else, and he's trying to squeeze it out of u! Become joyful by your own nature; make relationships an 'expression' of your joy!

I wrote the above lines just as I sometimes write certain thoughts down whenever I feel like it. As usual, people wrote back saying ‘nice lines’. But to me they are not lines, or thoughts, I have tried, and still try living it. With time, with awareness and with consciousness you can live like that—fully alive.

Why do we form relationships? I would say relationships are not important! I discard them! There is no reason to ‘form’ relationships. Either you have a relationship with every being here, subtle or gross, or you have no relationship at all with anything. For me, I am already in relation with everything, whether I am aware of it or not, I don’t need to realize or ‘form’ it separately. To that extent there is no significance of ‘forming’ relationships, because they naturally exist.

But you still answer me—why are relationships important to you? Because somewhere they make you happy? Right? If you have no relationships you are depressed. That means you are seeking happiness out of somebody, simply! You need somebody to make you happy, otherwise you won’t be happy. There is always a need to squeeze happiness out of somebody or something—everything that you do in life from morning to evening—even the relationships you ‘form’ are of that nature.

Initially, you may feel good in such relationships because it is fulfilling some initial need. But it is sure to lead to extreme misery and frustration over time, because the basis of relationships as we understand and pursue them is wrong and false. You are not naturally joyous; you need a source to make you happy all the time! Its madness! Insanity! Do you really think such relations will sustain or remain beautiful?

Forget beautiful, it will squeeze you out one day of all life because of the premise on which it was formed---you were squeezing happiness out of somebody and that person was doing the same to you! And one day it’s all over—the joy is gone! Then what? You become wary of one relationship, hop to the next one and then keep hopping for the rest of your life. That’s pretty much how ‘relations’ as we understand and see them have worked so far.

Only if you are joyous by your own nature, you will be happy in any relationship. Because you will then form that relation to ‘express’ your joy, and not ‘seek’ joy out of it. From ‘pursuit’ of happiness, bring yourself and your relations to be an ‘expression’ of your joyfulness all the time!